Amy Smash

I have a soultion for all the trouble that is going on with Israel and Palestine. Ok, hear me out.

First of all, this is a tried and true solution! I have seen it in action, and while it may seem cruel, and may be extremely loud at moments, it does work!!!

My Uncle Joe taught me this technique… and he’s no fool.

First thing you have to do is to seperate every Israeli and Palestinian, and put them into pairs. Then lock one Isralei and one Palestinian in a room together.

Make each of them stand face to face with their toes touching, staring eachother down.

They have to stay that way until all their frustrations and problems are worked out. They cannot move from that position until they are not screaming and can peacefully hug eachother.

Once every pair has done this, they can all go back to their lives.

Easy peasy.

I’ve seen this technique performed on my two brawling teenange girl cousins. While it did take about a half hour of screaming and crying, they did eventually calm down, and spent the rest of the evening not trying to kill eachother.

Ok, going to go draft a proposal and sent it to someone about this. See yas!

Yeah.  New Year’s Resoultions are pretty much crap.  Some totally awesome thing that you’re going to do that will make your life real sweet, but you end up giving up on it before the first week of the new year is through.

This year I’m going to kick the resoultion monkey right in the nuts and dance the Charleston on it’s writhing body as I set out to make, and keep, one slacker resolution for each month of the new year.

That way my crap life will have 12 more ounces of slacker love.

So, here goes.  And I don’t expect to do these in any particular order other than least effort to most effort.

1 – Stop playing with my tongue ring. 

2 – Organize my CD collection (which right now is scattered in the back seat)

3 – Blog every day (lucky you, huh?)

4 – Get rid of the old computers in my closet.

5 – Throw away the multiple cigarette packs that have fallen behind my computer desk.

6 – Replace the airconditioner filter.

7 – Finish taking the wallpaper in the kitchen down (a project 3 years running now)

8 – Create a meditation area free of banana spiders in the back yard.

9 – Regrout the nasty black grout in the shower.

10 – Get a new job.

11 – Open a CD online.

12 – Donate the clothes that haven’t fit me since high school to GoodWill.